I’ve been reading John Beckett’s writing on Patheos Pagan for awhile now. I have grown to appreciate his perspective and wisdom. This article made a part of me quiver with excitement. I still have not had a “defining moment,” but I sincerely hope I will, and soon. Hearing that Beckett was also raised in a fundamentalist background (Baptist, it sounds like) was encouraging to me; if he can overcome past indoctrination and embrace paganism, then so can I.
I’m still terribly unsure of what I believe. Gods, goddesses, archetypal beings, a universal spirit… nothing? After rejecting fundamentalism I struggled with what to make of the universe once the Christian god was removed. In IFB, there is nothing but the Christian god… it was engrained into me that to take away the god of the Bible was to take away everything. Atheists and agnostics were angry, spiteful people who put too much stock into science, Anyone involved in pagan or other worldviews that focused on other gods and goddesses or nature were for silly, crazy people. Overcoming this way of thinking is not easy. But I’m working at it! I want to believe. I hold science very highly (and think science and paganism can coexist), but I want more than just science for my worldview. I feel that there is much more than science can tell us. I’ve always felt there was more.