This is the Nine of Swords, as illustrated in the Hanson-Roberts tarot deck (and photoshopped by me to convey the darkness I feel when I view this card).
It was a few weeks into my marriage before I noticed the little book of tarot cards sitting on a shelf. The deck was small and nothing fancy, but it immediately spoke to me. I began using it every day, several times a day. I studied the cards, trying to memorize their meanings.
The cards were so beautiful! They spoke to my soul. The card I have picture above really pierced my soul – which I now know that piercing my soul is exactly what the card is supposed to represent. I recall turning this card up at least once, which is not surprising given all the hurt and fear in my life before and during that marriage. About a month before we split, I began turning up cards about a major relationship ending, loss, etc. I’ve been a firm believer in tarot ever since.
When my ex and I parted I had to leave behind that lovely little deck of cards. I’ve missed it ever since. Now I’m really excited to have found the same deck! Hopefully I can buy a deck for myself very soon.