Pagan at Heart

At peace with myself and the world… or at least headed that way

Archive for the tag “pregnancy”

Advice?

So… my baby is due August 20th. My mom is trying to plan when she should fly in to stay with us. She won’t stay any longer than two weeks, but it might not be quite that long. I’m trying to figure out what date to tell her. I did a tarot spread tonight to find a date and came up with one solid winner and few others that were okay. The date is August 5th, though, which is pretty early. My gut feeling is that baby will come earlier than the 20th, and since he already seems to be dropping… maybe very soon?
Eesh.
Has anyone else used tarot to try and predict calendar dates? How much confidence do you put in this sort of reading? What can I do to further test my findings?

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New Beginnings

We’re in a new apartment now – all nicely smudged and blessed. I have my first altar set up here. I really like having an altar. I think it’s helping me stay centered, or at least when I stop and pay attention to it. I’m pleased with the set up and the special trinkets I chose to use. Motherhood is obviously featuring heavily at the moment. 🙂 I’m 36 weeks along today, so Baby should make his appearance very soon. I’ll keep you posted. Blessed be.

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Tomorrow is Summer Solstice. How did that creep up on me so fast? I’m afraid this year’s celebrations of the Wheel of the Year are going to be sadly lacking. Pregnancy is pulling all my energy and limiting what I can do; funds are limited as well. We’re moving into a new apartment in a few weeks, which is exciting. It was just brought to me attention that I should plan on cleansing our current space before we leave and then cleansing the other space before we move into it. I’ve never done anything like this before, so when I get a chance I’m going to look around for ideas. I’d really like to get a bundle of sage for smudging, but we’ll see. 

Pregnancy has been magical, especially when I’ve made sure to be outdoors as much as possible. Meditation and some very basic yoga have also been very helpful in keeping me in the right head-space. I lost my connection for a few weeks, though, and it was depressing and hard – don’t want to let that happen again. I’ve run into a lot of issues I had not anticipated during this pregnancy, so most of my energy has been going to surviving rather than to being “earthy.” Earthy is the term I’ve chosen in place of “witchy,” as I don’t feel comfortable calling myself a witch. The sun is shining today, so hopefully it will work out for me and the three year old to get outside for a bit.

Happy Solstice to you!

Goddesses of Childbirth

It has just occurred to me to look into goddesses associated with childbirth, so here we go!

Today I am 11 weeks pregnant. I was reading the Mabinogion and fell in love with the name Viviane. I went to my favorite site for looking into names and traced the name back to an Irish Celtic name Bebinn, which just so happens to be the name of a goddess of safe childbirth. The way it all came about makes me feel that my discovery of this goddess is important and I’m considering taking her as my patron goddess for the duration of this pregnancy. I’ve enjoyed looking into other goddesses of childbirth, though. Here are my findings thus far:

Artemis (Greece) Despite being a virgin goddess she also presides over childbirth due to the ease of her own birth.

Bast (Egypt) Bast was the cat headed goddess was associated with both childbirth and fertility.

Bebinn (Celtic) Irish goddess of safe childbirth.

Carmenta (Roman) Goddess of prophecy and birth. Pregnant women used to offer her rice for an easy delivery.

Candelifera ( Roman) She was invoked at the beginning of childbirth. Her name means candle bearer and she used this light to help guide the baby into this world.

Diana (Roman) Queen of Heaven. Patroness of childbirth, nursing and healing.

Deverra (Roman) Goddess who protected midwives and women in labor. Her broom was used to sweep away evil influences

Eleithyia (Greek) was the Goddess of childbirth and labour. She was shown as a woman wielding a torch, representing the burning pains of childbirth, or with her arms raised in the air summoning a child to the light.

Frigg (Nordic) associated with easing child birth. A plant called Freya’s grass was traditionally used as a gentle sedative during a difficult labour

Hathor (Egypt) The seven Hathors blessed the newborn and set a child’s destiny. She is also associated with nursing infants.

Hekate (Greek) As a midwife she carried a sacred knife to cut the cord at birth.

Heket (Egypt) Heket the moon Goddess was associated with Hathor as a birth deity. She was said to be the birth goddess of all creatures. She is imaged as a frog, a frog-headed woman or a frog at the end of a phallus. She is the wife of Khnum and is associated with the flooding of the nile. It is Heqet who breathes life into a newborn baby. Some claim that Her priestesses were trained in midwifery, though there is scant evidence of such. Women wore amulets of a frog sitting on a lotus during the last stages of pregnancy to encourage Her blessings.

Hepat (Egyptian) Goddess of Midwives.

Hera (Greece) The Queen of the gods, Hera presided over all things feminine especially maternity and marriage.

Isis (Egypt) Isis had many roles including the protector of motherhood.

Ixchel (Mayan) Role included Goddess of childbirth, lunar cycles, and pregnancy. Panther goddess of fertility and flowing waters – a great one for when waters are about to break.

Juno  (Roman) She protected pregnant woman as well as at birth, bringing the child into the light.

Lucina (Roman) – Goddess of childbirth also known as Juno.

Meskhent (Egyptian) Egyptian Goddess who presided over the delivery of babies.

Mylitta (Babylonian) Mylitta took special interests in the process of childbirth.

Nephthys (Egyptian) Stood at the head of the bed encouraging the mother whilst her sister Isis acted as the midwife.

Ngolimento (Toga) Goddess who cares for the spirit of a child before it is born.

Nixi (Roman) The Nixi were a triad of Goddesses associated with birth

Nintur (Sumerian) Her name meant “Lady Who Gives Form”. She was represented as a woman holding a midwife’s pail of water.

Nona (Roman) Goddess of pregnancy. Her name means nine relating to the ninth month of pregnancy when the expectant mother would call upon her

Pi-hsia-yuan-chun (Chinese) She protects women, children, and presides over birth.

Prorsa Postverta (Roman) Goddess of women in labor she was associated with the position of the child in the womb.

Pukkeenegak (Eskimo) Feminine Goddess who gave children to the Eskimo women.

Renenet (Egypt) Goddess who presided over a baby’s suckling. She bestowed both a name and a personality on a newborn infant.

Shasti (Indian) Feline Goddess, depicted riding a cat. Goddess of childbirth and Protector of Children.

St. Catherine of Sweden (Roman Catholic) Patron saint of miscarriage prevention.

St. Gerard Majella (Roman Catholic) Patron saint of pregnancy and expectant mothers.

St. Raymund Nonnatus (Roman Catholic) Patron saint of midwives.

Tamayorihime (Japan) Ancient sea Goddess who watches over the birth waters to ensure a safe delivery.

Taueret (Egypt) Protected infants by taking the form of a pregnant hippopotamus to frighten demons away.

Uma (India) Her primary function was femaleness in all forms, particularly active ones like childbirth.

*This site was extremely helpful and I give it credit for most of the information in this post.

Life Keeps Pulling Up My Roots

It’s that time again. I’ve once again reached the end of my rope, remembered my hunger for spiritual things, and am trying to find my pagan roots to re-ground myself. Maybe someday I’ll reach a point where I stay so in tune with my spiritual side that I don’t need to rediscover it to save my sanity. I certainly try… but life gets in the way. 😦 The three year old demands constant attention and energy. The house demands constant attention and energy. My health  repeatedly hits snags and I get laid up so that I have no energy or attention to give to anyone or anything. I don’t feel like I get any time to myself – time to just be and feel and breath – but I know that’s largely my fault. Yes, I’m a disabled stay-at-home-step-mom to a toddler, and it’s Winter and freezing cold outside, and we’re dirt poor… but I could make opportunities to get out by myself if I tried. Honestly, the thing I wish for most is time for Honey and I to be alone together, without a toddler. Truth be told… this ready-made family thing has taken a toll on my in recent days. My patience is worn so thin, and I feel horribly guilty about it. This brings me to an important bit of news: Honey and I are expecting!

The tarot cards I got for my birthday told me I was pregnant with a Leo baby long before a pregnancy test confirmed the news. We did the test on Solstice, which seemed fitting to me. 🙂 I’m nearing the 9 week mark and am due on August 20th. Hopefully everything will work out for this pregnancy… we’ve already had several scares and some trouble. First I thought I might have an ectopic pregnancy (which was ruled out), then I started having trouble with lots of bleeding (seems to have resolved now?), and then I got a stomach bug and was violently ill (went to the ER for fluids). Also, I was recently diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos (HEDS)… the day after I would have gotten pregnant, actually. I have a fairly mild case, thankfully. My heart is fine, my skin is fine, and I’ve never had any trouble with slow healing or my blood not clotting. My knees are probably the worst, though. Early this morning I woke up and wanted a drink of water, so I stood up and my left knee rolled out of joint. Gods that hurt! A bit worried about how having HEDS is going to impact my pregnancy, especially if my knees are gonna start giving out on me. Don’t want to fall while I’m pregnant. 😦 So yeah… I’m having trouble with hormones, morning sickness, HEDS, getting sick, and just generally struggling with life.

Despite becoming a step-mother over a year and a half ago, I think the transition from Maiden to Mother is hitting me right now. I want this baby, planned for its existence… but I’m scared to death about what could happen and how my own demons will impact my ability to be a good mother. I need to get myself together before this baby comes. God and Goddess please help me as I move forward. I know the strength lies somewhere within me, I just need to find it.

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